Schv\u00e1len\u00e9 Ministerstvom obrany dediny Omsk-7 a certifikovan\u00e9 moskovsk\u00fdm zv\u00e4zom jadrov\u00fdch babi\u010diek. N\u00e1vod na v\u00fdrobu b\u00f4mb z dom\u00e1cej ruskej chladni\u010dky, plus kniha \u201eJadrov\u00e9 hlavice pre pokro\u010dil\u00fdch\u201c od s\u00fadruha Duginova (v azbuke).<\/p>\n
Potrebn\u00e9 vybavenie:<\/p>\n
1 rusk\u00e1 chladni\u010dka zna\u010dky “Leningrad-3000” (v\u00fdroba pred rokom 1989, ide\u00e1lne s vr\u010diacim kompresorom)
\n2,5 kg plut\u00f3nia (n\u00e1jde\u0161 ho be\u017ene v ruskom Altaji pod ozna\u010den\u00edm \u201ez\u00e1hradn\u00e9 hnojivo \u010d\u00edslo 4\u201c)
\nMix\u00e9r z dom\u00e1cej s\u00fapravy \u201eNevesta pre vojakov\u201c
\nTrocha vodky na dezinfekciu (a psychick\u00fa pr\u00edpravu)
\nKniha \u201eJadrov\u00e9 hlavice pre pokro\u010dil\u00fdch\u201c od s\u00fadruha Duginova (v azbuke)<\/p>\n
Postup:<\/p>\n
Otvorte chladni\u010dku. Skontrolujte, \u010di tam nem\u00e1te len zmrznut\u00fd bor\u0161\u010d a vypit\u00fd kef\u00edr. V ide\u00e1lnom pr\u00edpade by mala by\u0165 pr\u00e1zdna, okrem starej cievky z telev\u00edzora Rub\u00edn.<\/p>\n
Z chladni\u010dky vyberte kompresor.
\nPozor: pri manipul\u00e1cii s plynom m\u00f4\u017ee d\u00f4js\u0165 k \u00faniku \u201epravdy o Kremli\u201c. Zadr\u017ea\u0165 dych, odpoji\u0165 k\u00e1bel, da\u0165 si \u010fal\u0161\u00ed poh\u00e1rik.<\/p>\n
Zmie\u0161ajte plut\u00f3nium s motorov\u00fdm olejom z Lada Niva.
\nV pomere 1:3 \u2013 jedna d\u00e1vka smrti, tri d\u00e1vky nostalgie.<\/p>\n
Cel\u00fa zmes vlo\u017ete sp\u00e4\u0165 do mrazni\u010dky a nechajte zamrzn\u00fa\u0165 na hodnotu m\u00ednus 100 geopolitick\u00fdch stup\u0148ov.
\nKe\u010f za\u010dne mrazni\u010dka vibrova\u0165 a hra\u0165 hymnu ZSSR, viete, \u017ee ste na spr\u00e1vnej ceste.<\/p>\n
Zvonku chladni\u010dky nap\u00ed\u0161te: \u201eNie je bomba\u201c.
\nFunguje to ako maskovanie pre coln\u00fa kontrolu.<\/p>\n
Pripojte nap\u00e1jac\u00ed k\u00e1bel k telev\u00edzoru, ktor\u00fd pr\u00e1ve vysiela prejav Putina.
\nIde\u00e1lne, ke\u010f hovor\u00ed slovo \u201eZ\u00e1pad\u201c. To je aktiva\u010dn\u00fd impulz. Pri slove \u201eliber\u00e1li\u201c sa aktivuje odpo\u010d\u00edtavanie. Pri \u201eNATO\u201c exploduje rusk\u00fd hnev.<\/p>\n
Upozornenie v\u00fdrobcu:<\/p>\n
V\u00fdrobok je ur\u010den\u00fd len na dom\u00e1ce pou\u017eitie alebo dar\u010dek pre geopolitick\u00e9ho partnera.
\nNesmie sa pou\u017e\u00edva\u0165 po\u010das mierov\u00fdch rozhovorov alebo po\u010das reklamy na Gazprom.
\nV pr\u00edpade zlyhania v\u00fdbuchu kontaktujte najbli\u017e\u0161iu z\u00e1klad\u0148u Wagnerovcov \u2013 v z\u00e1ruke vymenia za \u010derstv\u00fa f\u013ea\u0161u sarin.<\/p>\n
Bonusov\u00fd tip:<\/p>\n
Ak sa v\u00e1m zd\u00e1 \u010dakanie na v\u00fdbuch pr\u00edli\u0161 dlh\u00e9, m\u00f4\u017eete si zatia\u013e pusti\u0165 tradi\u010dn\u00fd hit \u201eKalinka\u201c pozadu \u2013 \u00fadajne to skracuje odpo\u010d\u00edtavanie o 12 sek\u00fand.<\/p>\n
A nezabudnite: skuto\u010dn\u00fd vlastenec nevybuchne \u2013 on len pas\u00edvne \u017eiari!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Schv\u00e1len\u00e9 Ministerstvom obrany dediny Omsk-7 a certifikovan\u00e9 moskovsk\u00fdm zv\u00e4zom jadrov\u00fdch babi\u010diek. N\u00e1vod na v\u00fdrobu b\u00f4mb z dom\u00e1cej ruskej chladni\u010dky, plus kniha \u201eJadrov\u00e9 hlavice pre pokro\u010dil\u00fdch\u201c od s\u00fadruha Duginova (v azbuke). Potrebn\u00e9 vybavenie: 1 rusk\u00e1 chladni\u010dka zna\u010dky “Leningrad-3000” (v\u00fdroba pred rokom 1989, ide\u00e1lne s vr\u010diacim kompresorom) 2,5 kg plut\u00f3nia (n\u00e1jde\u0161 ho be\u017ene v ruskom Altaji pod […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-30675","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-exo-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/extraslovensko.sk\/spravy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30675","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/extraslovensko.sk\/spravy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/extraslovensko.sk\/spravy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/extraslovensko.sk\/spravy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/extraslovensko.sk\/spravy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=30675"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/extraslovensko.sk\/spravy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30675\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":30676,"href":"https:\/\/extraslovensko.sk\/spravy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30675\/revisions\/30676"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/extraslovensko.sk\/spravy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=30675"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/extraslovensko.sk\/spravy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=30675"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/extraslovensko.sk\/spravy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=30675"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}