Tu prich\u00e1dza \u010fal\u0161ia \u0161pecialita zo s\u00e9rie \u201eZbroj\u00e1rstvo pre idiotov v slu\u017eb\u00e1ch mati\u010dky Rusi\u201c. Bojov\u00fd dron z telev\u00edzora Sputnik, otestovan\u00fd Lavrovom, schv\u00e1len\u00fd Dankom, nad\u0161ene ospevovan\u00fd Blahom. \u201eKe\u010f nem\u00e1\u0161 Bayraktar, daj tam ant\u00e9nu a slovensk\u00fa n\u00e1lepku Smeru \u2013 a je to e\u0161te lep\u0161ie!\u201c \u2014 gener\u00e1lmajor Andrej Dronko z Osady Slovan.<\/p>\n
\u010co potrebujete:<\/p>\n
Telev\u00edzor zna\u010dky Sputnik (ide\u00e1lne z roku 1974, model \u201ePravda Deluxe\u201c)
\nDve ant\u00e9ny (jedna na navig\u00e1ciu, druh\u00e1 na estetiku)
\nRusk\u00e1 p\u00e1ska (viac\u00fa\u010delov\u00e1 \u2013 dr\u017e\u00ed, lep\u00ed, ml\u010d\u00ed)
\n4 vrtule z ventil\u00e1tora zna\u010dky \u201eVostok dom\u00e1cnos\u0165\u201c
\nSIM karta z \u010dias, ke\u010f e\u0161te Putin nosil ofinu
\nUSB s nahrat\u00fdm monol\u00f3gom \u013dubo\u0161a Blahu (\u201eZ\u00e1pad je fa\u0161istick\u00fd\u201c, 3 hodiny v loope)
\nDom\u00e1ci modem, na ktor\u00fd je pripojen\u00fdch 12 d\u00f4chodcov v Kremli a jeden slovensk\u00fd poslanec v tepl\u00e1koch<\/p>\n
Postup:<\/p>\n
Telev\u00edzor Sputnik obr\u00e1\u0165te obrazovkou dole. Star\u00e9 rusk\u00e9 CRT technol\u00f3gie s\u00fa automaticky odoln\u00e9 vo\u010di EMP \u2013 lebo nefungovali ani za be\u017en\u00fdch okolnost\u00ed.<\/p>\n
Z mont\u00e1\u017eneho stojana spravte podvozok.
\nDanko odpor\u00fa\u010da pou\u017ei\u0165 kolieska z kancel\u00e1rskej stoli\u010dky (\u201eOsobne som z nich padol a letel dva metre \u2013 v\u00fdborn\u00fd v\u00fdkon.\u201c)
\nNamiesto kamery pripevnite Blahovu webkameru.
\nT\u00e1 s\u00edce ni\u010d nevid\u00ed, ale neust\u00e1le rozpr\u00e1va o liber\u00e1lnych sluhoch Bruselu \u2013 \u010do p\u00f4sob\u00ed ako psychologick\u00e1 vojna.<\/p>\n
Nap\u00e1janie vyrie\u0161te pomocou starej autobat\u00e9rie a viery.
\nLavrov odpor\u00fa\u010da citr\u00f3n: \u201eJedna bat\u00e9ria, jedna n\u00e1dej, jeden n\u00e1rod\u2026 a kyselina citr\u00f3nov\u00e1.\u201c<\/p>\n
Nahr\u00e1vajte rozkazy cez aplik\u00e1ciu \u201eSlovDrone 2.0\u201c, ktor\u00fa programovali \u0161tudenti z Moskovskej akad\u00e9mie v r\u00e1mci trestu za ne\u00fa\u010das\u0165 na vojenskej prehliadke. Ovl\u00e1danie je jednoduch\u00e9 \u2013 sta\u010d\u00ed kri\u010da\u0165 hesl\u00e1:<\/p>\n
\u201eSl\u00e1va mati\u010dke Rusi!\u201c \u2192 \u0161tart
\n\u201eZradcovia a liber\u00e1li von!\u201c \u2192 \u00fatok
\n\u201eZ\u00e1pad je dekadentn\u00fd\u201c \u2192 n\u00e1hodn\u00e1 rot\u00e1cia okolo vlastnej osi<\/p>\n
Testovacie lety sa odpor\u00fa\u010daj\u00fa nad oblas\u0165ou Prievidza alebo Vorone\u017e. Ak dron spadne, nikto si ni\u010d nev\u0161imne. Ak vybuchne, Danko to vyhl\u00e1si za \u201e\u00faspe\u0161n\u00fd akt odporu proti globalizmu\u201c.<\/p>\n
Reakcie testerov:<\/p>\n
Sergej Lavrov:
\n\u201eDron lietal presne ako diplomacia \u2013 nikto nevie kam a pre\u010do, ale hlavne to vyzeralo hrozivo.\u201c<\/p>\n
Andrej Danko:
\n\u201eBudem navrhova\u0165, aby ka\u017ed\u00fd slovensk\u00fd poslanec mal vlastn\u00fd Sputnik-dron. Je to suver\u00e9nne a ekologick\u00e9, preto\u017ee sa to d\u00e1 recyklova\u0165 na kr\u010dmov\u00fd telev\u00edzor.\u201c<\/p>\n
\u013dubo\u0161 Blaha:
\n\u201eJe to \u00fatok na Z\u00e1pad, kapitalizmus, gender a \u017eiarovky s n\u00edzkym v\u00fdkonom. Tento dron je marxistick\u00fd manifest vo vzduchu!\u201c<\/p>\n
Z\u00e1ver:<\/p>\n
Ak m\u00e1te doma star\u00fd telev\u00edzor a pocit, \u017ee svet je proti v\u00e1m \u2013 urobte z toho zbra\u0148! Rusk\u00fd \u0161t\u00fdl. Lavrov povie, \u017ee to bolo mierov\u00e9 gesto, Danko to d\u00e1 do \u00fastavy a Blaha to vyhl\u00e1si za jedin\u00fd dron, ktor\u00fd \u010d\u00edta Marksa.<\/p>\n
A ak by to zlyhalo? V\u017edy to m\u00f4\u017eete odosla\u0165 po\u0161tou do Bruselu s odkazom:<\/p>\n
\u201eMade in Sputnik, s l\u00e1skou od suver\u00e9na.\u201c<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Tu prich\u00e1dza \u010fal\u0161ia \u0161pecialita zo s\u00e9rie \u201eZbroj\u00e1rstvo pre idiotov v slu\u017eb\u00e1ch mati\u010dky Rusi\u201c. Bojov\u00fd dron z telev\u00edzora Sputnik, otestovan\u00fd Lavrovom, schv\u00e1len\u00fd Dankom, nad\u0161ene ospevovan\u00fd Blahom. \u201eKe\u010f nem\u00e1\u0161 Bayraktar, daj tam ant\u00e9nu a slovensk\u00fa n\u00e1lepku Smeru \u2013 a je to e\u0161te lep\u0161ie!\u201c \u2014 gener\u00e1lmajor Andrej Dronko z Osady Slovan. Zbroj\u00e1rstvo pre idiotov v slu\u017eb\u00e1ch mati\u010dky Rusi […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-30677","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-exo-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/extraslovensko.sk\/spravy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30677","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/extraslovensko.sk\/spravy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/extraslovensko.sk\/spravy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/extraslovensko.sk\/spravy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/extraslovensko.sk\/spravy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=30677"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/extraslovensko.sk\/spravy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30677\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":30679,"href":"https:\/\/extraslovensko.sk\/spravy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30677\/revisions\/30679"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/extraslovensko.sk\/spravy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=30677"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/extraslovensko.sk\/spravy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=30677"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/extraslovensko.sk\/spravy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=30677"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}