Tu je tretia kapitola zo s\u00e9rie \u201eZbrojenie v kuchyni rusk\u00e9ho d\u00f4chodcu\u201c, tentoraz v \u0161t\u00fdle \u0161ialen\u00e9ho DIY n\u00e1vodu pre milovn\u00edkov vodn\u00fdch \u0161portov aj geopolitiky: Ako urobi\u0165 ponorku z vodnej postele a zrkadla. Odpor\u00fa\u010dan\u00e9 pre v\u0161etk\u00fdch, ktor\u00fdm sa nechce investova\u0165 do skuto\u010dn\u00e9ho n\u00e1morn\u00edctva. Testovan\u00e9 v baz\u00e9ne ministra Na\u010fa.<\/p>\n
\u201eAk nem\u00e1\u0161 flotilu, ale m\u00e1\u0161 vodn\u00fa poste\u013e a siln\u00fa v\u00f4\u013eu, si potenci\u00e1lna n\u00e1morn\u00e1 ve\u013emoc.\u201c \u2014 admir\u00e1l Sergej “Zrkadlo” \u0160napsov, d\u00f4chodca z Vladivostoku.<\/p>\n
Potrebn\u00fd materi\u00e1l:<\/p>\n
1 vodn\u00e1 poste\u013e (zna\u010dka \u201eIntimRelax USSR edition\u201c)
\n1 zrkadlo z predsiene (ide\u00e1lne tak\u00e9, ktor\u00e9 u\u017e nie\u010do za\u017eilo)
\nPVC lepiaca p\u00e1ska (vodovzdorn\u00e1, alebo aspo\u0148 d\u00fafaj, \u017ee je)
\nStar\u00e9 akv\u00e1rium (bude z toho kapit\u00e1nska ve\u017ea)
\nGumen\u00e9 k\u00e1ble z mix\u00e9ra (alternat\u00edva k torp\u00e9dometom)
\n3 f\u013ea\u0161e vodky (dve pre technick\u00fa in\u0161pir\u00e1ciu, jedna ako palivo)
\nPlut\u00f3nium volite\u013en\u00e9, ale povzbudzuje d\u00f4stojnos\u0165<\/p>\n
In\u0161trukcie krok za krokom:<\/p>\n
1. Utesnite vodn\u00fa poste\u013e zvonka aj zvn\u00fatra
\nNajprv odstr\u00e1\u0148te v\u0161etky zvy\u0161ky no\u010dn\u00e9ho \u017eivota. N\u00e1sledne vodn\u00fa poste\u013e preklopte tak, aby vytvorila dut\u00fd priestor. Zvn\u00fatra ju vylo\u017ete alobalom \u2013 zaru\u010d\u00ed to, \u017ee bude \u201enevidite\u013en\u00e1 pre NATO radar\u201c. (Aspo\u0148 Blaha tomu ver\u00ed.)<\/p>\n
2. Zrkadlo prilepte na \u010delo ponorky
\nZrkadlo funguje ako \u201eoptick\u00e1 kamufl\u00e1\u017e\u201c: odr\u00e1\u017ea vodu, seba\u00factu a z\u00e1rove\u0148 sl\u00fa\u017ei ako periskop. V pr\u00edpade n\u00fadze si v \u0148om m\u00f4\u017eete aspo\u0148 upravi\u0165 \u010diapku pred posledn\u00fdm v\u00fddychom.<\/p>\n
3. Akv\u00e1rium upevnite ako kontroln\u00fa ve\u017eu
\nDieru po zlatej rybke zatme\u013ete plastel\u00ednou, alebo len ignorujte. Vn\u00fatro vybavte star\u00fdm telef\u00f3nom s vyt\u00e1\u010dac\u00edm cifern\u00edkom \u2013 ke\u010f zlyh\u00e1 komunik\u00e1cia, aspo\u0148 si zahr\u00e1te \u201erusk\u00fa rulettu s hovorom do Pentagonu\u201c.<\/p>\n
4. Navig\u00e1cia pomocou r\u00e1dio prij\u00edma\u010da z kuchyne
\nSta\u010d\u00ed naladi\u0165 rusk\u00fd \u0161t\u00e1tny kan\u00e1l. Nez\u00e1le\u017e\u00ed, kde sa nach\u00e1dzate, Moskva v\u00e1m v\u017edy povie, \u017ee ste \u201ev bezpe\u010dnom priate\u013eskom pr\u00edstave\u201c.<\/p>\n
5. Pohon na b\u00e1ze vodky a entuziazmu
\nZmes alkoholu a n\u00e1rodnej p\u00fdchy poh\u00e1\u0148a v\u0161etko \u2013 od vn\u00fatorn\u00e9ho spa\u013eovania a\u017e po zabudnutie, kde ste vlastne vypl\u00e1vali. V pr\u00edpade kr\u00edzy sl\u00fa\u017ei vodka aj ako mazivo, chladi\u010d a sedat\u00edvum pre pos\u00e1dku.<\/p>\n
Testovanie:<\/p>\n
Sl\u00e1vnostn\u00e9 spustenie ponorky na jazere Kuchajda prebehlo v spolupr\u00e1ci s Blahom a Dankom. Ich vyhl\u00e1senia:<\/p>\n
Andrej Danko:
\n\u201eToto je suver\u00e9nna lo\u010f! Ak by mala slovensk\u00fa vlajku a mobiln\u00fa appku, viem si predstavi\u0165, \u017ee by nahradila cel\u00fa arm\u00e1du.\u201c<\/p>\n
\u013dubo\u0161 Blaha:
\n\u201eT\u00e1to ponorka je symbolom odporu proti liber\u00e1lnemu oce\u00e1nu. Nepotop\u00ed ju ani pravda, ani fakty!\u201c<\/p>\n
Sergej Lavrov (cez videohovor z vane):
\n\u201eMierov\u00e9 plavidlo. \u00daplne ne\u00fato\u010dn\u00e9. Len pl\u00e1va, sleduje a ke\u010f treba, potop\u00ed nepravdu.\u201c<\/p>\n
V\u00fdstraha pre pou\u017e\u00edvate\u013eov:<\/p>\n
Pri pr\u00edli\u0161nom n\u00e1klone hroz\u00ed, \u017ee sa prebud\u00edte sp\u00e4\u0165 vo vodnej posteli bez ponorky, zato s migr\u00e9nou a f\u013ea\u0161ou bez etikety. Nepok\u00fa\u0161ajte sa vpl\u00e1va\u0165 do Egejsk\u00e9ho mora \u2013 Turci nemaj\u00fa zmysel pre humor. V pr\u00edpade medzin\u00e1rodn\u00e9ho incidentu predstierajte, \u017ee ste z Moldavska.<\/p>\n
Ke\u010f Putin zist\u00ed, \u017ee m\u00e1\u0161 ponorku z postele, bude \u0165a chcie\u0165 do aliancie. Ke\u010f \u0165a tam zavol\u00e1 Danko, utekaj. Ale k\u00fdm sa tak stane \u2013 \u0161\u0165astn\u00fa plavbu, s\u00fadruh kapit\u00e1n! A nezabudni: ke\u010f sa v\u0161etko kaz\u00ed, oto\u010d sa na bok a tv\u00e1r sa, \u017ee si matrac.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Tu je tretia kapitola zo s\u00e9rie \u201eZbrojenie v kuchyni rusk\u00e9ho d\u00f4chodcu\u201c, tentoraz v \u0161t\u00fdle \u0161ialen\u00e9ho DIY n\u00e1vodu pre milovn\u00edkov vodn\u00fdch \u0161portov aj geopolitiky: Ako urobi\u0165 ponorku z vodnej postele a zrkadla. Odpor\u00fa\u010dan\u00e9 pre v\u0161etk\u00fdch, ktor\u00fdm sa nechce investova\u0165 do skuto\u010dn\u00e9ho n\u00e1morn\u00edctva. Testovan\u00e9 v baz\u00e9ne ministra Na\u010fa. Zbrojenie v kuchyni rusk\u00e9ho d\u00f4chodcu \u201eAk nem\u00e1\u0161 flotilu, ale […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-30680","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-exo-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/extraslovensko.sk\/spravy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30680","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/extraslovensko.sk\/spravy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/extraslovensko.sk\/spravy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/extraslovensko.sk\/spravy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/extraslovensko.sk\/spravy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=30680"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/extraslovensko.sk\/spravy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30680\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":30681,"href":"https:\/\/extraslovensko.sk\/spravy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30680\/revisions\/30681"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/extraslovensko.sk\/spravy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=30680"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/extraslovensko.sk\/spravy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=30680"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/extraslovensko.sk\/spravy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=30680"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}